


Through Tapes and Memories

by JayBird (AndroidHeaven)



Category: Marble Hornets, Slender Man Mythos
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jay is open when hes sleepy, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Really fluffy, jay is so cute, they are adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 05:05:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17115032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndroidHeaven/pseuds/JayBird
Summary: When Jay and Tim can't sleep one night, they end up opening a bit about their thoughts and things escalate a bit. The thing is, they don't remember that night happened, until they decide to look through the previous nights tapes to see if anything important had happened.Or in which they find a tape of Jay being really cute towards Tim which resulted in a kiss, and they didn't remember that happening.I'm really bad at summaries.





	Through Tapes and Memories

**Author's Note:**

> AO3 didn't want to post the first time I was trying to, so I had to write a new summary which sucks even more than the last one, I am sorry. BUT, request me a Jam fic if you want!

The silence of the deep night that once filled the room was shattered with laboured breathing and the sound of bedsheets rustling underneath an agitated body, as nightmares faded away from mental existence. Tim could clearly hear his own heart pounding heavily inside his rapidly rising and falling chest, sitting up almost immediately as he carefully listened for the noises inside the room. He was profoundly glad that Jay had the idea to leave the bedside lamp always on if their motel room had one, therefore the room would never be filled with complete darkness. There was nobody else in the room except for the two of them, and death seemed to be far away for now. Tim sighed in relief for a brief second, checking if Jay was still there beside him. It was a normal thing by now for them to share a couple bed on a motel, considering their lack of funds to afford different rooms and the fact that most of the motels they stumble upon only have a couple bed per room. None of them ever made a fuss about it, and if Tim was being honest, he actually enjoyed the fact they’re close. In case something happens, is the reason Tim told himself.  

He got up from the bed and quickly made his way to the bathroom, washing his face and then walking back to the bed. Tim would feel a bit guilty if he had woken Jay up, but the man was already awake, struggling to sleep through his terrors as well. Tim covered himself with the sheets again, closing his eyes and hoping to fall back asleep instantly. Unfortunately, however, after five minutes the dark-haired man sat up on the bed again, grunting in frustration on his lack of success. He didn’t want to keep up with the bed rustling right next to Jay, who was trying to sleep, and Tim gave up from his own attempts. He moved out of the bed, sliding his body down the floor right in front of their double bed, gently leaning his back against it. 

“Tim?” The voice echoed through the room. 

“Mhm?” It was the only response Jay got from the other man.

Jay also sat up on the bed, looking restless as ever. 

“Are you okay?” Jay knew that was a stupid question, but that did not stop him from asking, mostly out of pure-hearted concern.

Tim sighed, wishing not to have disturbed Jay any further. 

“Yeah, don’t worry about me.” Tim answered lightly before continuing “Just can’t sleep.”

In all honesty, Tim wanted to cry or maybe just hit himself in the head to sleep and stop overthinking. Despite the room not being so dark, he felt completely alone in the darkness. That’s when he heard rustling coming from the bed behind him, and suddenly Jay was sitting on the floor right beside him, and that dreadful feeling of loneliness, was somehow fading. 

“What are you doing, Jay?” Tim asked bluntly, not intending to sound annoyed or judging. Then again, that’s how he sounded most of the times when he tried talking to Jay, even though it was just a bad façade to his emotions. 

“Well, I’m...” 

Tim could practically see the engines from Jay’s brain work behind his eyes when he looked at him. Jay’s hair was really messy, his face was sleepy although his body seemed somewhat restless and his look actually expressed  _care_. Something that Tim hadn’t received from other people for a long time. 

“I’m joining you.” Jay finally answered, with a little sad smile to cover his lack of conversation skills.

In fact, Jay wanted to reassure Tim. Always wanted. However, his social skills were awful and he never knew what words to use or what to say. It was completely frustrating for Jay to watch Tim break down a couple of times and not being able to do anything to help. Jay felt useless.

There was a deep silence between them as no one knew what to say or if they were supposed to say anything. It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but the presence of one another made it heart-warming. 

“Do you... want to talk about what’s on your mind?” Jay spoke, his voice uneasy as he approached uncharted territory. 

Tim remained silent for a second, unsure if he even knew what was on his own mind. He rarely had the opportunity to talk to someone about how he felt or what he thought about, mostly because he refused to let it out and due to the fact that nobody will actually care or understand him. 

But Jay seemed different. He was as crazy as Tim at this point and that was somehow reassuring, although worrisome. 

“I...” Tim started lightly, still not sure what to say. “I just wish none of this had happened.”

Tim sighed as he looked frustrated about something. It was bothersome how he managed to let his feelings out so easily when he has an emotional outburst but never manage to talk about it properly to avoid an outburst in the first place. 

“Oh...” Jay’s conversation skills were as good as always. He wanted to hear Tim but he had still no idea how to comfort the man beside him.

“I wish you—everyone could be having a normal life.” Tim felt guilty about entering Jay’s life and that was no secret. Although, it was no secret either that Jay also felt guilty for dragging Tim back into all this mess he unknowingly started. 

Jay chuckled mockingly in response, as if the thought of a ‘normal life’ sounded worse than being actually there. Which, in Jay’s opinion, was indeed worse. 

“This is... way better than being back home doing nothing with my life and-” Jay almost trailed off, stopping himself when he noticed how, despite honest, messed up he sounded. 

Tim agreed with the fact that Jay sounded messed up to think that living in constant fear and death-threats was better than being safe. Tim never knew the actual sensation of feeling safe in his life, but he thought it as something relieving. Something he wishes Jay could feel again. 

“Don’t you wish you could erase all of this from happening?” Tim asked looking at Jay as if he had lost his marbles.

“No.” The answer came almost immediately from Jay’s mouth.

Tim kept staring at him, his eyes asking for an explanation. Jay looked away for a second, unsure how to put it to words without sounding so corny.

“Uhm...” He started shakily. “I wouldn’t have gotten close to you, for an example.”

Jay wanted to punch himself for being so honest when he was sleepy, although Tim felt flattered with that statement. He didn’t know he was something important to Jay. 

“Alex used to be my only friend, but then he changed and went away.” Jay felt the need to explain further, regretting as he spoke however. “So I was always... Lonely, I guess.” 

Tim was finally beginning to understand Jay’s point about how this was somehow better. It was not messed up after all, it was  _sad_. The pain of being alone was worse than the pain of being on the run. And Jay tried to save his old friend but in return he received a gun to his face. 

“I guess that makes sense.” Tim answered, his eyes still thoughtful. 

“But now I have you.” Jay smiled fondly, his sleepiness clear on his face as he opened so easily. 

Tim almost immediately looked away, flustered by how cheesy Jay was being which was so adorable. He couldn’t help but smile in response as well. 

Jay slowly approached Tim until their shoulders were gently touching, resulting in Tim almost melting to the other man’s gentleness. That’s when Jay rested his head on Tim’s shoulder, and Tim swear he could hear his own heart start to race as his mind went blank for a second, clearly flustered by this display of affection. He had noticed how Jay could be really affectionate sometimes towards Tim, but he always convinced himself that it was just because Jay was being polite; nonetheless he would be lying to himself if he said the tension between them was not questionable. 

When Jay looked up at Tim it was like the entirety of time itself had stopped. Nobody knows who was the first to move, but suddenly those mere inches between them were gone as their lips softly touched, causing butterflies to swim around in their stomach. When Tim moved away, Jay looked completely in a state of sleepy bliss and he would be lying if that wasn’t the cutest thing he’s ever seen. Tim couldn’t help but let a smile escape his lips, soon replaced by Jay’s own when their lips pressed once again. 

“And you have me, Tim.”

~

Jay woke up in his bed only to notice how he suffered more memory loss once he tried to remember what happened the last couple of days. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one as Tim mentioned the fact that he could not remember what happened the last few days either. It was something rather common by now but still frustrating whenever it happened. Therefore, as a routine, Jay decided to go check the previous days footage to be aware if anything out of the ordinary has happened. 

He sat on the chair in front of the desk where his laptop was located, quickly grabbing the camera to transfer the footage to his device so it’d be easier for them to watch. Tim decided to join in Jay’s investigation, sitting on the edge of the bed behind Jay, curious as he also wanted to know if something happened. 

After several minutes of watching them on their daily routine as usual, fasting forward here and there because there was nothing happening, Jay finally decided to watch the tape from the camera he always put in front of their bed whenever they go to sleep. The first couple of hours of the tape contained absolutely nothing substantial, until suddenly Tim was seen frantically waking up from a nightmare, getting up to use the bathroom and then returning to the bed. It was something rather common by now, but it still pained both of them knowing they can’t sleep properly anymore without having a bunch of unwanted thoughts invading their minds and transforming it into nightmares, only to be woken up by the fact that they were actually living in one. 

Shortly after the tape revealed a very frustrated Tim sitting down in front of their bed on the floor, Jay asked if he was okay as usual and then proceeded to sit down next to the sleepless Tim. After a couple of minutes passed with none of them talking on the tape, Jay started to grow a little embarrassed at whatever he was trying to do in that tape, considering his basic questions and sleepy hazard. Tim was actually a little flustered at how Jay was showing so much care towards him, caring about his well-being. That’s when, on the tape, they started opening up a bit about how they were feeling towards the situation, Tim expressing his want and Jay expressing his own twisted up yet sad opinion. Soon after, when Jay’s sweet words were so clear on the footage, the Jay of the present could not help but blush at how cheesy he was being towards Tim.

 _“I wouldn’t have gotten close to you for an example.”_ is what Jay had said.

He really wanted to punch himself for being so honest and open when he’s so tired and sleepy.  Tim’s reaction to that excerpt of the tape was not so different, slightly growing red at those pure words. 

_“But now I have you.”_

Jay genuinely wanted to bury his head on the ground and never get it out to look at Tim. His face was burning with shame and uneasiness as he watched that footage. ‘ _God, what is Tim thinking of me right now? It almost sounds like I’m hitting on him._ _’_

Tim’s heart raced and his chest felt suddenly so small when he heard the Jay from the tape say those light-hearted innocent words. He was so entangled with what was happening on the footage that he almost forgot Jay was right there with him. Jay considered fasting forward that scene on the tape out of pure embarrassment, but his curiosity, as always, spoke louder in his head. 

They observed how Jay suddenly moved closer to Tim on that shameful tape, resting his head on the man’s shoulder. Jay felt the urge to squirm upon such scene, a billion questions going through his mind about what happened after. ‘ _Okay, what the hell am I doing?!’._

If Jay’s face was burning before, now it was on fire.  They could not believe what they were seeing right in front of them, on that damn footage. They literally had just kissed right after Jay turned his head to look up at Tim on that tape. Shortly after when Tim broke the kiss(Which felt like forever), they kissed once again before Jay stated “ _And you have me, Tim.”_ and suddenly the tape ended right there and then. 

There was a complete silence in their motel room, Jay completely refused to look back at Tim’s reaction upon this finding. Although it was  _very_ embarrassing to watch how cheesy he was towards Tim, Jay really wanted to know what the hell happened after; if Tim reacted badly or if Tim even punched him and asked him to never do that again. At least then he’d know if he should get up and run away from that motel room and throw himself down the river or take a deep breath and pretend that never happened. Jay was literally shaking by now, knowing that someday he’d need to turn around and look at Tim’s face. 

The silence was killing both of them. Tim was completely at a loss of words knowing how Jay felt towards him and how he showed him that on that night. In fact, what should he even say right now? Did Jay really mean those things?

“Hey, uh...” Tim started, his voice uneasy. “Jay... So--”

Before Tim could even properly say anything, Jay cut him like a hammer being dropped on thin glass. 

“Ah!” Jay gasped in fake surprise, quickly getting up from his chair and not daring to even take a glimpse of Tim’s face. 

“Where are you going?” Tim asked confusedly, watching the other man panic.

“I forgot to go to the gas station for something.” Jay tried to hurriedly put on his jacket but he was so shaky and so clumsy that he could barely find the holes of his jacket to fit his arms into.

“For what?” Tim pushed further his question, trying not to chuckle at how ashamed Jay actually was. 

“For...” Jay tried to look at Tim for a brief moment, but that only resulted in him losing his ability to form a lame excuse.  “I-I don’t know.”

Tim sighed, getting up from the edge of the bed, approaching Jay who still refused to look at him in the eyes. 

“I-I’m really sorry, Tim.” Jay mumbled.

“Did you mean those things?” Tim asked hesitantly out of nowhere, his cheeks a bright red too. 

Jay really didn’t want to look at him in the eyes or talk, so he just nodded in fear and shame.

“So I have you?” Tim said with a weak smile, in an attempt to reference when Jay mentioned that he was Tim’s; but instead it sounded more like a forwarding question and Tim couldn’t help but blush at his own words.

Jay finally looked back at Tim in the eyes, his expression surprised and curious. Tim wasn’t mad at him or frustrated.

“Well... If you want.” Jay smiled softly, looking away again for a second. 

Tim couldn’t help but let a small chuckle escape his lips as he noticed the situation they were in, looking like two kids confessing their childlike crush for the first time. It wasn’t far from it though, not like any of them were experts when it comes to expressing feelings like this. And  _this_ , was something far from their control because it was far too great.

Nobody knows whose eyes invited first, but time once again had stopped when Jay closed the gap between them and awkwardly brushed his lips against Tim’s, still unsure if he should kiss him, but the answer was clear when Tim smiled and properly pressed his lips against Jay’s soft ones. 

“Yeah, I guess I want that.” Tim whispered softly, caressing Jay’s face with one hand as he broke the kiss to talk.

Jay looked at him awed, his adorable dumb smile penetrating Tim’s heart like an arrow.

“Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments/Kudos would be appreciated!


End file.
